Over Thinking and the Art of Solitude

After a lengthy internal struggle I’ve taken a step back from my relationship with Mary. I don’t intend to explain the reasons here and it was a very upsetting time. We are going to try to maintain a friendship so we will see how that goes. I have a tendency to over think everything and relationships are no different; I’m aware that after 45 years of living with the same person and being in love all that time I might be expecting too much from a future relationship however the key question is – would I be happier on my own? Do the positives of a relationship outweigh the silly, trivial annoyances that are inevitable when two human beings occupy the same space.

And so we come to the Art of Solitude – how does one learn to be alone without being lonely? I meet a lot of people in the U3A who have been alone for a long time and in most cases they wished they had a partner but the journey to achieve this is just too frustrating and too stressful for them. In many cases we are surrounded by family and friends however I think most people need that special person – the one person where there is complete trust and understanding; unconditional love. There I go again, over thinking it again…

On a more down to earth subject – I’m in the process of redesigning the south-east corner of the garden. Jane wanted to fill the garden as soon as we moved in so some large plants were placed in the centre of open spaces. As they have become established the borders have become crowded and so I’m attempting to rebalance the effect. There are a couple of large black bamboo that need to be shifted to the back of the bed.

This is proving to be a lot more difficult than I first thought. I’ve dug all round the largest one and spade seems to go underneath it but it won’t budge. I can feel the pick axe coming out of a dark recess of the shed and being to put to work for the first time in many years. I’ll let you know how it progresses…