I like your analogy but I confess there are times when I just want to jump off the mountain because there is no reason to reach the summit alone and of course there's no going back. I'm going through the motions of living, doing what Jane would have done but it is soul-less. I know you're right but as you say it is very painful, every moment of every day. Thanks for thinking of me, replying through a veil of tears. Steve xx