Oh dear steve,
You are right to say that 'jane would not want that'. Jane's love for you is strong and she would like you to enjoy your life Even though she knows it will not be easy.
If the situation was reversed you would want jane to find enjoyment in life.  Jane cares as much for you as you do for her.
You are doing very well, doing routine things like washing, eating, correspondence (endless for you at the moment ). And you are thinking of jane, seeing her friends, keeping the garden up to scratch, well as best you can, (I am sure jane will forgive ant small errors and give you a hug across the airwaves). 
My thoughts and heart are with you. You are strong and so is Jane's love for you.  Being strong really does mean you are allowed your feelings and to cry and to express a whole range of emotions. 
With love liz