Yes, the counsellor said I was being too hard on myself. Little by little I will get there, wherever that is. There are times when I feel completely lost. Before going out into the garden today I sat looking out at the vegetable plot and then I felt a cool tear just run down my cheek and then another and another. I don't know why, no trigger, it just happens.
Today's gardening has been very therapeutic but there were moments when I felt guilty about altering Jane's garden but on reflection I felt she would have made these changes if she had been here.