Hello Steve.  Phew!  Where do you get all that energy from?  Your garden looks beautiful, weeds or no weeds.  I suspect that counting the days is probably something that many grieving people will do, at least for a good while, perhaps until you have gone round a whole year and experienced all the "anniversary" dates without your loved one.  Just be kind to yourself and accept your feelings as they come, without guilt, as I'm sure Jane would want you to.  Think how you would have wanted Jane to feel, if you had gone first.  The pain of loss is inevitable, as are the tears, but there should be joy as well, so take pleasure in it when it comes.
Love and good wishes
The Mad Cat Woman of Litchborough xx