My counselling session on Thursday went well and I came away with the clear message that I'm "being too hard on myself". I'm trying to take control of my grief by allowing myself time to think so today I sat up on the atrium landing and played Tim Hardin's album "Reason to Believe". This was a record I played at college when Jane dumped me for a brief time and I was really down. It reminded me of the emotions I felt then and the similarity to now. It helped.

<a href="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/blood-testapr16.jpg" rel="attachment wp-att-3256"><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-3256 alignleft" src="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/blood-testapr16-200x136.jpg" alt="blood-test(apr16)" width="200" height="136" /></a>On Friday I had my annual blood tests which resulted in a phone call at 7 pm from an out of hours nurse telling me my blood sugar levels (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoglycemia" target="_blank">Hypoglycaemia</a>) were very low and I needed to get into the out of hours GP at Lincoln hospital immediately. I said no because I felt fine and I was having dinner with Nick and Val. She said that at the levels indicated I should be feeling dizzy, sick, sweaty or in a coma. The lack of any symptoms clearly meant the blood sample had been corrupted somewhere. I did attend the hospital GP this morning and when he tested my blood it was normal (range 3 -6) measuring 4.5. Despite my protestations that I felt fine he was talking about admitting me - this was crazy. In the end he let me go but insisting I see the local GP on Monday, I carry a glucose bar with me at all times and I eat frequently. Oh yes, he also asks if I live alone, well I do now and to ring 999 if I feel faint or dizzy. I was being advised to change my whole diet based on a single test that was <a href="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/parking-meterapr16.jpg" rel="attachment wp-att-3258"><img class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-3258" src="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/parking-meterapr16-150x200.jpg" alt="parking-meter(apr16)" width="150" height="200" /></a>probably wrong. Needless to say I came home and as soon as the rain stopped I was out in the garden.

Can life get any more complicated? Oh yes it can because when I got back to the hospital car park and was paying my parking fee the machine took my money then crashed on me without giving me my ticket. Thankfully reception gave me a replacement without any argument so I think this happens a lot.