<a href="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/if-onlymar16.jpg" rel="attachment wp-att-3244"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3244" src="http://pigyard.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/if-onlymar16-257x300.jpg" alt="if-only(mar16)" width="257" height="300" /></a>Over the weekend I've probably had too much time on my hands and so I've fallen into the mire that is the phrases "What if" and "If only". The most prominent are the thoughts "what if we hadn't sold up in Rothersthorpe and moved to Lincolnshire"; "what if Jane hadn't given up the work she loved at the surgery" - would she still be with me? Of course this train of thought is destructive and quite meaningless but I don't seem to be able to avoid it.

What if I had never met Jane and  fallen so passionately in love with her? Then my life would have been hollow and I would have been less of a person so I should be grateful for the 45 years we had together.