Hi Alison - I always try to think "what would Jane do?" and that's a very good guide. She had an excellent moral compass and was a good judge of character which is why she had so many loyal and warm friends.
As I said to my grief counsellor yesterday knowing my feelings are "normal" doesn't make it any easier but then again I don't really want it to be easier. Being in pain is, in some weird way, a penance for still being here when Jane is not. As you can tell - it is complicated.
Let's just say I'm coping. Love to you and Paul. Steve xx