Caitlin's garden has now been completed at St Barnabas, Louth. Special thanks must go to Nick who has spent many days laying the porcelain tiles in very difficult circumstances and I feel certain that without his input it would never have looked as good as it does.

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I was there for the afternoon and met Sue the inpatient unit manager at Lincoln where Jane spent her final weeks. She would come round and speak to the patients every day to make sure they were receiving the very best of care. Jane had a special reclining chair but when someone else came into her ward and there wasn't enough recliners to go round Jane offered to give up hers - so typical. She wouldn't rest until I promised her that I would make sure we bought some recliners for the hospice so I met with Sue and made a donation. Sue told me that the recliners arrived this week and were put to use immediately - Jane's goodness lives on.

It's 7 months today since Jane died and I've struggled throughout the day. Finishing the garden at the hospice has triggered something. I started this post an hour ago and then started to look back at my posts while Jane was in the hospice and it broke my heart all over again - I'm like a moth attracted to the light. I cannot resist revisiting the most devastating days of my life and I sit here once more looking at a screen through a veil of tears.