Little old lady catches fire in balloon basket!

The day was pleasant and warm and Elsie was looking forward to her balloon flight. She called the flight information line and was advised to meet at the Marriott at 7pm.

As part of the preparation for her flight she pulled the hair spray off the shelf and liberally applied it to her freshly washed and brushed barnet. After all, it was bound to be windy up there and she didn’t want to look a mess for the photo’s after she’d landed.

All went well with the balloon inflation and she gamely scrambled over the side of the basket and waved a fond farewell to the family as the balloon took to the air.

After about 10 minutes or so the pilot suddenly started paying her extra attention. He reached towards her and started patting her head. “I know I’m still looking good for my years” she thought, “but I can’t imagine this nice young man taking a fancy to me”.

And, do you know, she was right. The silly mare had caught fire! The fumes from her hair lacquer had ignited with the heat from the burner and the flame was just starting to singe her hair. The pilot had heard a strange crackling sound, realised what was happening and reached across to pat the flames out.

The rest of the flight was conducted with Elsie wearing a very fetching baseball cap.

Explosive Gases

All pilots are aware of the dangerous aspects of propane and how it should be handled with the utmost care in all situations.

One commercial pilot in particular has a penchant for generating his own gas and there have been times when the consumption of a “Ruby Murray”  from his favourite Balti restaurant has had dramatic effects. This photograph was taken one early morning at the BBL launch site with Dave at his flatulent best.

Forecasting Reliability

Forecast: 75% chance of lightening

Dave cancels his flight at Hatton Court.

Steve on the field at the Swallow (as was then)

Steve to Tony “ What do you think about those clouds back there?”

Tony “You’ll be fine”

Steve to punters on the flight “I think we will land now because if any of that (pointing to lightening flashes) hits us we will go up with a big bang”

All punters “Okay then Mr Pilot”

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT FOUND

Police investigations came to fruition today when Lucie Kew was found hiding in a Northampton suburb.

Lucie, who left her native country Canada some 30 years ago to train as a nurse in the UK, never legalised her work permit and hence has been working illegally for the National Health Service in many guises for the last two decades.

This charlatan managed to marry a British citizen, thinking this was enough to allow her to remain in this country but unfortunately this is not the case and the authorities have caught up with her at last.

Rumour has it that she knew they were on her trail and was planning a trip to the Antipodes.

SUPER  SAUSAGE

Good food at affordable prices

Mugs of tea and coffee served at every unsocial hour thrown at you by the ballooning habit.

Al fresco tables and chairs always available throughout the year.

Bookings via Alison Penfold at any time.